Comments - Latest Popular Stories, Instablogs Community by Deepathukral

Manish

Manish — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Isn’t this shocking? If it were in rural areas it was still understandable but in a city like Mumbai, the commercial capital of India and the most cosmopolitian city of the country. Shame on us!

On one hand we talk of India as superpower and as a World leader in technology and on the other hand we have a large number of our population still stuck to this age old belief. Nonsense.

Deepa

Deepa — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Can u believe that this was on the front page of TOI.

And here I was still caught up with the idea of whether one child is enough or now?

Reshmi

Reshmi — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Deepa, if this is the state of affairs in one of the so called most ”open minded” and liberal metros of our country, I wonder why do we speak of women’s liberation, freedom of gays and all that stuff. You know, long back I had written an article on domestic abuse and wife bashing. There also I was shocked to know that Mumbai and Delhi constitutes the highest number of wife bashing cases. Ironical,isn’t it?

Sasmita

Sasmita — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

It is our misconception that only the villagers have narrowmindedness and blintbeliefes etc. Metro cities are also eqaully affected by the boy-child-mania. I would say it’s more in case of the civilized folks, because where villagers can tolerate many child in the hope of getting a boy, the city-dwellers want only one or two. So they want it to be a boy child. Hence, they are more likly to go for sonography and abortion of girls.

I don’t find it is suprising, for there is a reason. The so-called modern man. Huh!

Manish

Manish — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

@ Sasmita ”villagers can tolerate many child in the hope of getting a boy, the city-dwellers want only one or two. So they want it to be a boy child. Hence, they are more likly to go for sonography and abortion of girls.” - Very good point.

Deepa

Deepa — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Hey Reshmi, Sorry for the delay on replying back to your opinion. Such studies disturb me a lot too.

However smart we portray ourselves to be by wearing mordern outfits, sporting latest gizmos and eating cuisines from all over the word, its such Realistic facts that rip us off all our urbanising.

Deepa

Deepa — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Hey Sasmita, you have rightly pointed out that villagers expand their families without much fuss. So chances of getting a boy is bright. However its the urban trend of rearing 1-2 kids that lead to makin a (illegal) choice in the womb only.

However viewing it from this angle, it indicates that its better to expand the family to satisfy the urge for a boy!

Manish

Manish — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

@ Deepa Yes, your argument is correct as in both the cases the motive is to get a boy. Just that in case of villages the girl:boy ratio may not get skewed. The thinking remains the same.

Andy

Andy — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

It’s a sad but true fact about the psyche of the Indians generally speaking and Mumbai is no different from the rest of the country on this count barring perhaps some northeastern states. Even in the 21st Century we live with the ‘boy-better-than-girl’ mentality.

Deepa

Deepa — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Such brutal yet real statistics sucks! Wonder how different urban living is in comparison to rural.

Busy Man

Busy Man — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Oh’ God! How can we stop this craze?

Desh

Desh — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

It isn’t craze, man.

It can better be put as a prejudiced Indian mentality which projects itself as a craving for a helping hand when you feel helpless to do things as you used to do. It’s a mental sickness that is so very evident everywhere– be it villages or metros.

Deepa

Deepa — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Desh, when u mentioned carving for helping hand, do u mean helping hand = son’s support?

Desh

Desh — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Yes, that’s the way ppl think even today; no matter we boast off our modernity and sophistry, still we haven’t surpassed middle ages in our base mental set-up.

Hope you understand what my point is. It’s really pathetic to notice that sons are preferred even today over daughters; it should stop now.......

Deepa

Deepa — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

In the present era, can you tell me how many families are living in joint set up? I know of so many families who have 2-3 sons but the parents are living alone. Even a widow mother is living by herself in spite of having 2 sons.

SO what kinda support a son guarantees.....even in old age?

Desh

Desh — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Well, I didn’t bother myself to open this page again, still gmail reminded me of you, dear.

Sons and daughters are equal and they provide similar level of agony as well as comfort or solace to parents; there is difference in perspective ven.

Don’t you think me and you are saying the same thing though bit differently?

Deepa

Deepa — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Thank you Desh for taking time off to drop in and bless my post with your opinion again :)

You correctly summed it up as ’Sons and daughters are equal and they provide similar level of agony as well as comfort or solace to parents’.

So why the urge for a male offspring?

WHY CANT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THE BASIC FACT!

Manish

Manish — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Our society had always been biased towards men. Since ages it has been believed that a girl is a liability, someone who goes away, someone who will not take the name of family forward, and not to mention the huge dowry needed to be given during marriage. In fact in almost all communities even after marriage, girl’s side have to keep boy’s side happy.

But I thought in Urban India things had changed. The educated youth would not get into all this crap. But if this is the mentality of people in Mumbai, I really don’t know what to say. How come educated people be so stupid.

Deepa

Deepa — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

You know Manish, academic education has nothing to do with changing your mentality.

Manish

Manish — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Yes, and it is quite evident

Radhika

Radhika — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

When will ppl realize that it’s not the sex of the child that determine a happy family but the health.

ask a parent whose sick child has to undergo horrifying treatments!

Educated Fools!!!

Deepa

Deepa — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Radhika,being a mother of two daughters, I prayed to god for only one thing when i was carrying my second child. I simply wanted a healthy child with a well designed destiny :)

Never ever I prayed or requested HIM for a boy.

Radhika

Radhika — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

i know this deepa...that’s why i wonder why urban mother’s cant think like us

Nishi Roy

Nishi Roy — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

One hopes that this phenomenon ( of testing for the sex of the child)is just with a small section of people...I am sure there are more people like u and me in India, for whom the sex of the child makes no difference.

Deepa

Deepa — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

There are many like u n me Nishi, but sadly not enough to overrule such gender notions.

Ramesh Balam

Ramesh Balam — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

A mother is a female, a sister is a female, a daughter is a female. Punjab has the lowest female to male ratio. Worried on that score, Harmandar Saheb Gurudwara of Amritsar has decided to distribute free tree saplings to give the message to their devotees to save the girl child.

The survey is not about village or city. It states the mindset of the people of the region. I think Kolkata and Bangalore have the highest female to male ratio amongst cities and West Bengal tops the list amongst the states.

Manish

Manish — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I am not surprised. West Bengal has had many great scholars and thinkers in 18th and 19th century and people like Raja Ram Monah Roy had championed the cause of women and influenced the society to give them due respect.

Swati

Swati — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

You might have noticed that in communities where large sums of money and goods is exchanged in the name of dowry the male-to-female ratio is skewed in favour of the male. Punjab, Rajasthan, Haryana, UP, Bihar, Delhi are all victims to this.

Manish

Manish — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Absolutely correct.

Son = profit

daughters = loss