Deepa, this is a very good link. Teens these days are the most stressed out segment of our society. They are even more stressed than even young executives meeting deadlines. This leads to high BP and lack of sleep. That’s why we are witnessing strokes and cardiac arrests in young adults.

Thanks Jonty. I too feel that teens are more at risk. I have personally known of teen who is suffering with high cholesterol levels....not because he is overweight or follows wrong eating habits. The doc has zeroed the cause to STRESS!

This is an ever growing concern for the entire world now. Especially in India the pressure on teens are from all sides. They have to perform in academics, fight peer pressure in schools and neighbourhoods.

Neha, you are justified in saying that ’especially in India” as our education system falters somewhere. Kids have to drag on with many subjects thru high school and junior college which they are not interested in. This adds on to the stress.

And the ever rising cut-off percentages for admissions to good institutes adds on to the dilemma.

The kind of stress today’s kids are facing is phenomenal...
No wonder all these issues are coming up...
Good link Deepa

Thanks Radhika, I am too scared while handling my teen.
Dunno where to draw a line :)
Should I stop pushing her, motivating her to work hard to score enough marks to sail through college admissions without trouble?

Superb link Deepa. Not many parents are aware of the dangers their kids are exposed to due to the pressure and lifestyle.
Just today I was talking to this mother of a teenager and the poor lady was saying her kid just came back from school and had to directly go to classes. He would come back home and again go for other classes. The price kids pay to be in the rat race :(
I absolutely agree that teens are the most stressed segment of our society, whether its about studies or peer activities, and they are not equipped to handle the pressure. But this is where I feel parents should take a bit of responsibility.
If they can do some time management to make sure their kids have enough time to relax in evening and get them to sleep on time... I know easier said then done, but something needs to be done.

I a mother to a, almost, 14yr teen and I know the stress that both of us undergo :(

It hurts to push her like this, akin to your friend’s son. But then we cannot escape the system we are making our kids study in.

Just like Radhika had mentioned some time back about the ’where will the average child go?’.....parents want their kids to get substantial % to get sail thru college admission.

That sets the ball rolling actually.

@ Deepa and Manish

Truly the education system in India is flawed and the kids and parents go through stress but i think it’s unnecessary. Parents constantly tell their kids to get good marks and compare them with their friends, which is wrong. The only point you need to get across to your kid is to understand everything that’s been taught in school. In case he/she doesn’t then you should sit down and simplify it to them as parents and their well wishers.

I am zero parenting experience, i am 21 but i’ll tell you this.. As a kid i was pushed and told by everybody to do well and i was not academically smart. I always scored around 70-75, sometimes even 50 :P and i was compared to the rest of the cousins in the family who got 90-95 in school. But you know what i was always fine, i knew i am a good kid, believed in myself. Understood basic concepts in school, i was a tad lazy though..haha

Everytime my parents pushed me, i’d just be stubborn and i thoroughly enjoyed my till, i still enjoy my life and i passed out of school and college with good marks. In fact i got a job, as soon as i got out of college. I was thrilled because everybody else at that position in the ad agency had a masters degree, expect for me who was only 19 then. So it was an achievement. The VP loved me for my confidence, for the way i presented myself and the various internships and practical exp i gathered.

So whats most imp is to believe in your kid and to give them the liberty to experiment so that they figure out what they want and they will respect you for that. Almost every one in my family is an engineer, expect for me who is a mass media grad. The coolest thing was that i got paid more than them in such less span of time. My parents gave me the liberty while i was growing..so no stress and i am happy :)

I got so carried away while typing the whole story that i made enormous amounts of typos. Sorry people. I do speak decent English, just got a little carried away with the conversation:P I and my parents keep having such debates, so i love being a part of such intense conversations. Once again I apologize for the really long series of comments. Please bear with me :)

While reading thru ur commnets, I realized that as parents we too need to understand and rectify our thinking and expectations.

All your comments made me feel that I am reading my teen’s words. She too has the same inclination. Her HM tells me that she has tremendous potential and can score 95% plus in boards. But my darling just cannot score more than 80%.....as she cannot work tht hard.

Hey Nithya, it was great to read your comments here. Almost all the earlier comments were from us ”older” generation :P and you brought in a younger
generation’s perspective.
You know what, I too absolutely agree with you. I don’t believe in rat-race at all. Though I am an Engineer myself, but I have never followed the system. I was always an average student but one thing that I had was confidence. Confidence to face challenges and confidence to face failure. I sincerely hope that I will be able to teach my kid that, if nothing else.

And I agree that not all kids have same brains and same caliber but still our system requires them all to win in the same rat-race. Every parent is concerned about that and don’t want their kids to be left behind in the race... remember BRICK IN THE WALL?? thats what we are making here. Though as a parent I am also responsible to make sure my kid wins that rat-race but I do hope he becomes a confident and helpful human and not just get a rat-race winner.
At the end of the day, as your experience shows, its not really important to be a topper but its important to complete studies and be able to be a part of the world as what you are and not as what others want you to be.

Btw, very rightly said, this is quite an ”Indian” or rather underdeveloped country thing. I know my relatives kids growing up in developed countries who don’t have to face half the hardship that kids face here .

Correctly noted. Many countries like US and Australia have easy school life. there the pressure starts once the child gets in higher college....like a degree college here.

Yes, and thats exactly when the pressure should start, when they have decided in which field they want to pursue their higher studies. Its insane to put pressure on kids studying in 8th standard who does not even know where his/her interest lies.

I did not know that sleep or poor-quality sleep run the risk of elevated blood pressure. I am nocturnal, I can manage to do all my work, be it projects, studying everything only at night. I don’t think i have ever been able to study during the day. In fact even during my board exams I’d study after 8 or 9pm. People are different, their systems work differently. Like some do their best during the day and cannot manage to stay up beyond 10 like my mum. Anyways it’s a really enlightening article Deepa, good job!

Hey Nithya, thanks a ton for all ur opinions. Its really interesting to view the whole issue from the other angle too.

Like you, she too is nocturnal and wants to study or finish her work after dark. But I dont approve of that as her eye-sight is already weak. And studying at night is definitely harmful for eyes.

I agree that everybody have their individual style but as parents it becomes difficult to allow ur child to do something that is detrimental to health.

Hey, a good nights sleep IS important and as this article shows, irregular sleeping can lead to many health issues. And as someone else has also pointed out in comment, its not only studies that leads to poor sleep, its bad lifestyle too. And many families and teenagers do have habit of very late nights.
Come to think of it, all my student days, we friends use to hang out till about 2 in morning every night :P .. thats bad lifestyle and nothing to do with study pressure lol

Only education is not the cause for that.Urban lifestyle and eating habits,particularly in front of TV.Excessive use of net and mobile is equally harmful.
I stays in Kota,which is the best coaching town in India and observed that parents expectation and presure are also factor for above problems.

Thanks for ur comment Vijay. You rightly said that academic pressure is not the only cause. Its the overall unhealthy lifestyle that also contributes to untimely ailments.