But not by lieing in the different direction Deepa,this is certain.

Yeah Vijay, it does help the most!

There is always something new which I learn from you. Article is good. I would say, articles; because I read the other ones too. Its interesting. I may not try any but atleast I now know, what it means.

Hello Rameshji. Thanks for ur kind words :) I look up to ur intellectual, factual opinions always.

Deepa,did you heard about the global warming,thats the resultant of such hot activities.

Hi Deepa, thanks for sharing the link.
Any relationship takes lot of effort to build and even more efforts maintain and a good relationship is something that can make your life beautiful... whether its with your spouse or a close friend.
And I agree with the writer, the ’honesty’ part is the most important and also the most difficult. Its very very difficult to be honest with your partner at all times and I have seen many of my friends taking the easier path - that of being ’selectively’ honest. But I guess its always good to completely true to someone you really love and care for, however hard it is.

Very well said mate! The easiest way out is honesty and it is actually the most difficult thing to practice. When you have an honest partner, it is important that you do not look beyond her. Some people would find it crazy but it is true that the law of equality prevails even in this regard. If you cheat someone by getting lured in to those temptations, you would get cheated in the same manner. I have personally experienced it and though this is too small a block to reveal what happened and I am not in the best of mood to reveal it all, but for my friends here over insta, this one is a sincere advice- never try sailing in two boats especially if the one that lures you is a mere ferry, you wouldn’t even realize that your first ship has been wrecked:)

Yeah Mansih, I have seen people being selectively honest. But that doesn’t help ever...in long run.

Atul, I too have always believed in equality in a relationship. We all are faced with temptations that can drown a stable relationship. However steering clear of such wicked circumstances is easy only if you have 100% faith in your present relation.

And I guess the easiest way to be completely honest is don’t do anything that you can’t tell... But with so many ’temptations’ around us, for most people its easier said than done :)

That’s exactly why you need to be 100% honest. Like a strong rein, it will keep pulling you back from every temptation that could harm your relationship.

”When you have a honest partner, it is important that you do not look beyond her”
Atul, my friend, you have said absolutely correct. But you know what is also true is that we guys are like dogs... There are very few people in today’s world who are 100% true to their partners... and I mean complete 100% - not 99%. And as you rightly said, you can’t sail in two boats.
Charles had Diana, the woman most men desired their wives to be like, but still he could not be faithful to her.

I feel the problem is, once we get close to a person, whether its a lover or a close friend, we start taking them for granted... after sometime we stop feeling the excitement of their presence... excitement of being with them....we stop missing them the way we used to feel earlier....It happens all the time.
The point is to understand this nature of human and STOP running after new people once you have found your soul mate... and this is true in case of friendships too... not that you stop making new friends, but once someone becomes close to your heart even as friend, don’t let distance come between you and that person... once you get this gyan, I think you can easily be a 100% honest lover and a true friend.
Believe me, with a little help and understanding, its not very difficult to have wonderful relationship.

I believe the Charles and Diana relationship is a very weird exaple to discuss the issue with!!

Charles cheated on Diana not with a whole line of women. He cheated on her with the women he loved dearly but could not make his wife. Now since the couple, still very much in love, did get married that too in their old age, it has to be said that perhaps their love was true after all. Diana just got caught in their mess!!

As for most men, I totally agree that they don’t often think twice about who they are cheating on their partners with. But I guess its got more to with the thrill of cheating than the thrill of being with with someone special.

Its more like proving their machismo in fornt of your friends or telling their wives that they are still desirable just to keep them on their toes.

Cheating almost always results out of deep seated insecurities and deep-seated dissatisfaction with one’s own self!!

But unfortunately instead of seeking out a shrink, most people- men and women both- settle for a fling!

As for relationships, none of them out there are perfect and their is no recipe to make them perfect either.

Hi Asmita, Agreed Charles and Diana were never meant to be togather in the first place, but the point was about the importance of honesty in a relationship.

If Diana knew about Charles and Camela and still went ahead with their marriage, you can blame her for her own mess. But from what we have read, she got to know about all that only after they were married. On the other hand, Charles kept on loving Camela even as he married Diana.

There is also a great example of honesty and true love in the same British Royal family.
King George the VI loved an American widow (named Mrs. Simpson) and for her he renounced the throne, married her and lived a life of a commoner (and that’s how Elizabeth’s father came to sit on the throne).

There are also many examples of people not marrying at all because they can’t marry the person they love... And there are also many people who fall in love with someone but eventually get married with someone else, but they still manage to develop a wonderful relationship with the person they marry...
And in such cases honesty does plays a very vital role.

And I agree with you. Its the trill of cheating and ego boost that makes most people (both men and women) cheat.

Never knew about King George the VI and his sacrifice for the love of his life!

@ Asmita
”As for relationships, none of them out there are perfect and their is no recipe to make them perfect either.”

Why do you assert that? I have seen many perfectly compatible relationships and, touchwood, can also boast of one such myself!

Though it hasn’t been a smooth sail for me either, but efforts from both of us has made up for a perfect recipe!

@ Deepa, History is filled with stories of love, sacrifice and betrayals. But there are also some examples of true love in recent times.
One such story is that of Sanjeev Kumar and Hema Malini.
It is said Sanjeev Kumar loved her a lot and when she married Dharampaji, he was so heartbroken that he didn’t marry anyone else and ultimately died young (47 yrs) because of over drinking.

A relationship is a big thing. Tell the truth. Truth is the ultimate aphrodisiac and a great way to create connection with your partner. Listen to them every once in a while. Every one wants to be heard, especially in a relationship! Respect the person. Relationship is not a one way road. Learn to own up to your mistakes and don’t let your ego get in the way of a perfectly good relationship. Say sorry, it’s a two way concept!

Honesty, respect, listening ear....all are very vital for a successful relationship Nithya.

However I also rate the need to ’give space’ as vital as all of the rest ingredients.

@ Nithya, you are right. Owing up to a mistake and saying sorry is very important in a relationship. And what is also equally important to forgive your partner if the partner has made a mistake and is genuinely regretting it.
Believe me, even in committed relationships, we do make some really serious mistakes and if you have an understanding partner, it helps a lot to bring back things on track.

@ Deepa, ’give space’ I feel is an area of dispute.
I mean, giving reasonable space to your partner is important and required but at times peoples expectations get unreasonable. Who determines whats reasonable and whats not?
For example, its quite natural not to have your partner breath on your neck always but at the same time, how much liberty should you take?

I can tell you, if my friends wives started listening to their ’space demand’ they will end up sitting home every Saturday night and all my friends will be boozing in some pub... and their excuse? They work under crazy pressure all week and need to spend carefree time with friends to unwind!! Very unreasonable if you ask me :)
I think after getting into committed relationship, the ’space’ demand should be low... just my thoughts.

@ Manish
Sorry to get back to you on this after so long :) and reply to the ”space” factor.

You have correctly mentioned that it is an area of dispute. But only when the demand is being unreasonable. And only the couple in question is the best judge to decided what is the limitation of comfortable space between the two of them.

Common examples are-

1)Guys needing time to bond with their pals which again becomes nasty if it is a regular habit.

2) Women wanting explore their potential and work or study furhter (not at the cost of family) and the spouse not allowing that with a common reply ”whts the need”.

3)”Not breath on your partner’s neck” - Both the partners wanting to be aware of every minute’s activity of the other person.
and many more to list.......

Good relationships not only help us meet our needs but also make our life more fulfilling. One way to build good relationships is by learning their characteristics. By understanding their characteristics, we will be better equipped to build good relationships in our lives. Here I use the term “relationships” in its broad meaning. Why? Because the principles of good relationships are universal!

Deepa,this is surely the way of making relationship better,otherwise it would be ”bitter”.Did you gone through my article ”make your bed room a good room”.

Yeah, its all about transforming anything bitter into better :)

Btw, I did drop by on your bedroom post.

Gyan Guru!! LOL! Thanks for that insight bro..It is true that you do not realize the changes that come into your relationship until they start hurting you. It is where you need to trace the problem other than looking for better or lets just say options. You sometimes repent on your past relationships that could still have been there had you thought wisely.

Right! Sometimes it is too late to realize the worth of the past relationship. Only after the separation, it brings tears to the eyes. In the fluctuating situation, the couple needs to work on to rekindle the lost spirit of love and its colors, instead of quarreling for the ego. It’s nothing so sad if your relationship demands some hard work at times.

Experience is a great teacher Atul and gyan comes from experience and age... and I have both :)

One thing I can assure you, the love and the expectations at 20’s will be hugely different from that of 30’s... 30’s is more mature and stable compared to 20’s.. So keep experiencing my friend and keep gathering gyan :)

@ Atul ”You sometimes repent on your past relationships that could still have been there had you thought wisely.”
Its a bad situation to be in. And as a guy I can tell you, we always misread the gravity of situation while taking unnecessary chances even when we have it all.... In movies like ”No Entry” things work out in end, but in real life it may not.

One thing that is not noted in the list is being a good listener. It’s very important in a new relationship, where both of them less familiar to each other. It makes one feel that the parner is careful and interested in whatever you are telling. Dinner and movie is the good idea to have some fun together.

Also accepting all the ’Good’ and even the ’Bad’ of the other half with ease is IMP. Most of the times we simply want to enjoy the good qualities of the other person. But 100% is when you can accept the -ve traits too....without much fuss.

@ Sasmita, small outings help in spending quality time which further strengthen relationships.. who needs big surprises or bouquets of orchids lined outside one’s door on occasions, when simple display of love and care can do it all :)

Being yourself is the most important aspect of a relationship. If you are not allowed to be yourself then you are an impostor in the equation. Telling the Truth, good listening, etc. are part of personality traits that follow suit. I always maintain that nobody is perfect. there is good and bad in every person, it’s up to you how you perceive them. If you look for the good, good emerges, it look at the bad points then you can only see the worst of that person.
It’s all in our hands.

Agreed Radhika.. sometimes yu gotta be jus urself.. but then wat is relationship that doesnt help you improve, doesnt help yu change for better..? a relation that doesn’t help one become better as a person and only stagnates?

Agreed, its one perspective that makes a difference, but i can say outta my personal experience that there were times when i had cut down on my dumb habits jus to make my relation better..

Indeed being open to changes has to happen from both the ends otherwise one will take another for a ride :)

Nowadays, there is liveinrelationship. To what extent people support this?

Live in relationships are only for people who are not sure about themselves...who don’t have confidence on their choice. People who are scared of committing and intend to drift off can only consider such a lifestyle.